From Contacts to Connections: A Mindset Shift for Successful Networking

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Last week, we discussed the five milestones for measuring confidence. This week, we will be talking about the steps to networking.

Before we begin, why networking?

Networking is an opportunity to cultivate relationships based on trust where people are willing to make sacrifices and take risks to help each other. Why should we do so as soon as possible? The answer is simple. As Harvey Mackay says, “You’ve got to dig your well before you are thirsty.”

Redefining networking

Let’s discuss our perception of networking first. Networking is often seen as creating relationships with people to receive assistance so that we can progress in our careers. However, this means networking is one-sided, with only one party benefiting from this activity. That said, why should we expect others to willingly help us without benefiting from it at all?

 Now, what we will be discussing is RECIPROCAL NETWORKING, where both sides benefit from the relationship. After all, you wouldn’t want to form a relationship where the other side expects you to ask them for a favor as soon as you contact them. We want an AUTHENTIC relationship when networking, not one of utility alone. 

Before thinking about who to network with, you should see how you can help others if you form a relationship. While you should always think about how the people you network with can help you, you also have to think about how you can help them.

The networking mindset

Suppose you usually focus on getting as many contacts as possible when networking. In that case, we suggest you identify who you WANT to build connections with and invest in instead and find out WHY you want to network with them. So, your goal is not to network with one million people. Instead, focus on building deep relationships that will go far. 

Besides, imagine yourself at a party where you see someone asking everyone around to dance with them. Would you feel valued and interested in dancing with them when they come to you? It’s the same thing when it comes to networking!

So, try to be more selective and form more authentic relationships.

Approach with the right intentions

Once you’ve established a connection with someone, you should focus on earning their trust and convincing them that you are trustworthy. One way to do this is to help the other side build themselves up as you expect them to do to you and have more than a superficial relationship with them.

Here’s the point of view of someone who teaches in higher learning and executive education (lead UpSkiller Michel Shah). Some students will frequently finish the course and leave, assuming they’ve established some form of connection. However, few people will go beyond to develop DEEPER relationships. These few people will send messages about parts of the course that helped them out a lot, which helps the teacher improve their curriculum. Sometimes, it’s these little things that count. On the other hand, other students will leave the course and, later, suddenly ask for a favor, often in the form of a reference letter, where they want to USE the teacher’s name or, in other words, USE the teacher for their benefit. That said, how can you expect the teacher to put their reputation and credibility on the line for the sake of someone they don’t have a DEEP relationship with and barely know?

There’s no secret to it. Networking is about bringing out the best in you and offering what you can based on your resources while forming an authentic connection!

One more step: Remind yourself of the ULTIMATE goal

The most important thing in networking is not for YOU to know who you’re networking with but to BE KNOWN by the other party. That’s the only way someone can seriously consider if they want to invest in a relationship with you or not based on your suitability to their needs.

Key takeaways

• Revisit your definitions of networking. Know that it should be a reciprocal relationship that is not purely utilitarian. Do not network with ONLY YOUR benefits in mind.
• Change your mindset from getting many contacts to making a few deep connections because it’s only from these deep connections that you will find people willing to take risks and make sacrifices for you. So focus on identifying the people you want to work with and spend time building relationships with them.
• Make sure you are investing in your relationships and are building up the others as much as they are building you up. Focus on EQUITY. Offer your best and receive the other side’s best.
• Finally, know people you network with, but also be known by them. This can be as simple as attending an event and being asked who you are or your name. 

This week, we covered the steps to networking successfully. Next time, we’ll discuss the three mentorship relationships you need to succeed. See you next week!