From Failure to Success: How a Growth Mindset Can Change Your Life

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Last week, we discussed how to upgrade your mindset to become a more effective leader. I gave three tips:

1. Think about your thinking
2. Use others as a mirror for feedback
3. Think about the future (value progress over perfection)

This week, I’m sharing seven MORE tips to better utilize your mindset to serve your needs and control YOUR life outcomes, rather than letting them control YOU. 

1. Take ownership of your failures. 

One UpSkiller shared a story with me; she is a faculty member in a classroom and recently received critical feedback from a student. But the student began by taking responsibility for their OWN role in their learning, including any lack of effort, BEFORE giving the feedback to the faculty member. This helped the feedback to be better received by the faculty member.

Before thinking critically of others: try to identify your role in both successes and failures FIRST.

2. How to get unstuck from a rut: PAUSE.

There is a vicious thought pattern that plagues us all from time to time: “I don’t have the solutions right now, what I’m doing right now isn’t working, and there’s no way out.”

Pause. Stop being so focused on the RIGHT NOW. Stop going going going, and take time to actually THINK about ways that you can start over. 

Re-imagine. Revisit. Revise. Maybe revamp. Maybe destroy and start all over, but don’t get stuck and continuously try to push the gas pedal. Sometimes, you need to stop and re-strategize before you can take the next step forward. 

3. A mindset of gratitude leads to abundance.

A study by Harvard Business School found that one common trait shared by effective leaders is that they have a mindset of gratitude. I take this to heart — I try to remind myself of the many things to be grateful for, such as having a team and opportunities to learn. It’s not always easy to be grateful every day, but when I’m in a grateful mindset, I start to see more and more things to be grateful for. 

4. Choose your words deliberately. 

This is one that I’ve been working on personally — changing out certain words for other words that are more effective and better received but still working to get the point across. 

Years ago, when I was in sales, we used to say that “but” is an eraser word that can negate everything that was said before it. By changing “but” to “and,” we can show openness to new ideas and make people more receptive to our thoughts. This helps to create a “yes and” approach to our communication, which affected the attitudes and mindsets of the team. Try substituting “and” for “but” and see!

5. Update your greetings.

I had a faculty member that came from mainland China many years ago. Once, she told me how disappointed she was when someone asked her, “how are you?” She started to answer only to realize that they didn’t really care. They started WALKING OFF before she could answer. 

They actually just said it automatically. She was expecting to really share how she was doing, but they weren’t receptive to the answer to the very question that they asked. At that time, I made it an intention of mine that I would listen. If I asked someone how they were doing that, I would be genuinely interested. 

When meeting new people, it can make a WORLD of a difference to use positive language and show genuine interest in how the other person is doing. 

6. Celebrate others.

I saw a video on social media recently of a small child failing at a gymnastic maneuver, falling down over and over again on a stage. The final time he fell, all the other kids in the room came running to the stage, without being prompted. They hugged him, put their around hands him, said a chant and let him go. Then they went back and sat down. And this little boy found the courage and the power to just get up and jump over it. 

Everyone in the room began to cheer for him.

It’s a really big deal, and children are showing us how to do this. 

7. I want to leave you with some questions to reflect on your mindset:

• How is your mindset impacting your work?
• In what situations do you find it hard to change your mindset?
• What cues or triggers in your body help you know when your mindset needs to shift?

Be open, humble and vulnerable as you reflect on these questions. Don’t let your mindset limit or block you from great opportunities.