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Michel encourages leaders to be mindful when communicating, particularly because of the power positions you hold that sometimes your intent and your impact are not the same.
Intent is how you think or feel and impact is how your words, decisions, actions, make others feel.
We are not communicating to blank slates and the processor that the other person uses is shaded by their own experiences, by mistakes that others have made, by bad experiences, by their lived experiences, childhood trauma and so on.
These all affect how your message is processed. Be mindful of that. Our intent is transparent to us so we assume it’s equally clear to others and that our message is received in the same spirit.
When we cut off someone, we expect them to be gracious to us because it’s an honest mistake. When someone else cuts us off, it’s not an honest mistake. We call them names and we make all kinds of assumptions about why they cut us off.
This is the called the fundamental attribution error. It’s a process where we judge ourselves by our intentions and we judge others by their actions.
As leaders we need to be mindful when communicating that we hold a little bit more power. Our intentions may be good, but the impact can be devastating because of the power differential.
Please go to UpSkillCommunity.com to review show notes and join a community of leaders working on improve their communication skills and more
In this episode, we look at The gaps between what we intend to communicate and what is actually communicated
welcome to UpSkill Talks brought to you by McGraw Hill. I’m your host, Michel Shah lead UpSkiller at UpSkill Community. UpSkill Talks is a podcast for leaders, leaders who are actively seeking innovative and creative ways to interact lead themselves and others. In every episode, through real life stories and enlightening conversations, we will explore the challenge. And opportunities real leaders face in today’s everchanging workplace. We will present you with real strategies for you to leverage your soft skills and produce transformative results. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let us begin.
I wanna encourage leaders to be mindful when communicating, particularly because of the power positions you hold that sometimes your intent. And your impact are not the same. So I wanna clarify that intent is how you think or feel and impact is how your words, decisions, actions, make others feel. So this distinction is really. Fundamental to your understanding of communication. Remember we said, communication really is about transferring that message and making sure that it has happened. And we said that the biggest issue is the illusion that communication has happened here. Again. That’s the concept we’re talking about here, that this is what you intended, but that’s not necessarily what happened. And the illusion that what you meant to communicate is what has. Being communicated or was communicated is where we hit our blind spots. And that’s a big issue. So with our communication, particularly as leaders, but for all of us, we need to be mindful of the blind spots and the gaps between what we intend to communicate and what is actually communicated. This is a space where intent versus impact is incredibly important. So will the intended message impact the receiver as you expect? And how will you know? Because when we are communicating, we are not communicating to blank slates and the processor that the. Person we’re communicating with uses is shaded by their own experiences, by mistakes that others have made by bad experiences by lived experiences, the story of childhood trauma, all kinds of things are informing the processor. That’s your message is going through. And so you have to be mindful of that. Because our intent is transparent to us. So we assume it’s equally clear to others and that our message is received in the same spirit. However, that’s not true. When we cut off someone, we expect them to be gracious to us because it’s an honest mistake when we cut them off. When someone else cuts us off, it’s not an honest mistake. We call them names and we make all of these kind of, assumptions about why they cut us. This is the called the fundamental attribution error. And it’s a process where we judge ourselves by our intentions and we judge others by their actions. And so this is very important when we are thinking about communicating effectively This has always been important, but no time, has it ever been more important than this current context so what guests in the way. when we send a message forward. We need to be cognizant of our biases, our ego, our emotions. All of our lived experiences and beliefs and values, all the things that shade, what we say, how we think about it, how we think about the people we are communicating with all of those things. We need to bring our awareness to all of the things that impact our message before it even leaves us. And then the same things. Affect the person that we’re communicating with, they also have ego emotions bias, all of those things. And so how do we bridge this unseen gap? It’s through dialogue it’s through conversations. It’s through openness, through questioning, building, authentic relationships, learning about who we are, how we show up and how others experience us as we show up and learning about others, how they show up and given respect and appreciation to ourselves. As much as to others, this is really very important. You need to take a look critically at your thinking. Think about your thinking, scrutinize your thinking. That’s our job. And don’t believe everything you think when we are dealing with people, remember. The whole person, the diversity of people and needs. It’s not as simple as it looks. Stay humble. It’s okay. Not to know, go and ask seek help. Complexity is part of our journey, make mistakes. If you’re not making mistakes, you’re probably in your comfort zone. Get out of your comfort zone. Get into the learning zone. When we do learning, we make mistakes. One thing I wanna make sure to remind you of is that, your comfort zone is this little prison that will hold you locked in and not let you out. You’ve gotta open up that lock and let yourself out, release yourself into the learning zone. This is where you grow and grow and be more. But like I always. manage the size that you bite. Don’t jump into the panic zone, where you begin to feel stressed out. You don’t learn anything. You don’t grow in the panic zone. So take the bite size to be in the sweet spot, As Paul J. Myers says, productivity is never an accident. It is always the results of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort. That’s what we’re going to do as leaders, ongoing dialogue, consistently seeking feedback, questioning, and recognizing that we hold a little bit more power. And so that our intentions may be good, but the impact can be devastating because of the power differential. So very important for us as leaders, when communicating to be aware of our influence, to be aware of our power, be aware of the differential between where we are and where others are and understand how those plus all of the other elements may be affecting what you mean to say. Versus what they have received as part of the message. The leader is willing to see with new eyes, to see inside people and situations to show the way forward by thinking and acting differently. We learn as leaders. And then we lead the way forward. We light to the path and that’s, what’s expected And that’s the challenge for you go get them.
Thank you for listening to this episode of UpSkill Talks brought to you by McGraw Hill. We bring you new episodes every Monday. Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a five star rating and a written review at apple podcast. Or follow us on. By Google podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts, don’t forget to share UpSkill talks with other leaders like yourself. So they too may gain the skills and insights to produce amazing results. Please go to UpSkillCommunity.com to review show notes and learn how you can join a community of leaders from across the globe. Collaborating to lead in a more meaningful and impactful way. I’m your host, Michel Shah. And again, thank you for joining me on this episode of UpSkill Talks.
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